KATRINA AND NEW ORLEANS: Lap Dancing Our Way to Hell

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The devastating hurricane’s name sounds like one of those lap dancers from Eastern Europe. Now that we have experienced this one, they shouldn’t name them after people.

It’s completely common knowledge that New Orleans served as a deep dish whore house for the nation. Las Vegas used to perform that function, but the Mormon’s in Nevada placed distinct limits on sleaze. No such restrictions applied in New Orleans. For decades men went there to screw, especially to connect with black prostitutes. More recently, Mardi Gras became a reason for college coeds to “go wild.” Nineteen year old girls rode in by the bus load for the sole purpose of drinking Hurricanes on Bourbon Street, how ironic, only to eventually puke their guts out in the gutter and parade around with their tops off. Once the string of psychedelically colored beads, made by slave labor in China, was strung around someone’s neck, they understood it as a bacchanalian sign; a license to strip, suck, fuck and become less than human. Every time I visited New Orleans, the place literally reeked of body fluids; fucking and puking. As with Las Vegas, alcohol was the magic ingredient that washed away all inhibitions. Even the ancient Romans knew that trick. New Orleans was the American Rome at its most decadent time. Have another Hurricane glass full of cheap liquor!

So, was this a punishing biblical flood brought to us by God and Katrina? Not by any means, although some people have said so. It’s more like one of the things that will make up George Bush’s legacy to our country. Idiot shills for corporations running government agencies that ignore dire needs, dire warnings. People put in positions of power that lie and cheat their way through public service. All of these things come to mind when we consider how ill prepared the nation has been to meet its severe recent emergencies. Sure New Orleans was one big scene of sin-- gluttony, avarice, corruption, vanity—but don’t blame the flood on god’s vengeance. God sends a cleansing rain to rid the world of sin, not E- Coli saturated brown water filled with toxic chemicals and mutant sludge.

Now that billions of dollars have been allocated to recovery, I wonder how the priorities will be worked out over the coming months. Will they rebuild Larry Flint’s Hustler strip joint and the other lap dancing clubs in and around the old French Quarter before they put in decent low income housing? Will they engineer the traffic flow back to the brothels before fixing and improving mass transportation? Will they recreate the famous eateries and monuments to overindulgence in food and drink before they can guarantee that no one in the city goes to bed hungry? As they say in South Phili—“fogedaboudit!”

Expect to see neat contracts amounting to billions doled out to well connected construction companies, like Haliburton, and Disney style renovators. Expect to find, in the coming months, a brand new Mickey Mouse brothel packed with ghetto booty. All the sleaze, scum, and low life exploitation from the sex trade will be lovingly restored, but in newer, more simulated theme park settings. Expect the poverty of poor black folks and white trash to be replicated as well. Otherwise, who else would the pimps use for the tourist trade? The college coeds going wild were always too unreliable and could barely do one trick a night before ralphing on Bourbon Street. When they say, “New Orleans will be back,” they really mean “Poverty, Pimping, and Prostitution will be back.” Our 50 billion dollars of tax payer money will make it happen. But, don’t expect George Bush and his slime cadre to do anything about making life in our cities more livable.